Keeping Personal Problems Out of the Work Place

Mary has come into work late at least once a week for the past two months.  She said that her husband has left her and that she has a difficult time getting the kids to daycare by herself.  When you talk to her, she starts to cry and tells you all about her personal problems.

Mike has been very touchy.  He is quick to anger and expresses frustration with his co-workers.  When you talk to him, he tells you of his financial problems, how he has to work a part time job and is hoping he does not have to file bankruptcy.  He confides in you that he doesn’t know what to do and looks to you for advice.

We all have personal problems especially in today’s economy, but when the personal problems affect the work place, many managers are torn between the need to address the behavior and/or performance issue and the concerns they may have for the employees.

What do you do?  These are good employees, but their behavior is disruptive and impacting productivity.

1. Acknowledge the problem and show genuine concern.  Give the employee an opportunity to talk.  Base the length of the talk upon your relationship with the employee and the problem. This is simply an opportunity for the employee to vent.
2. Do not let the employee give you information you do not want to know.  If they start telling you things that are much too personal, politely ask them to stop and tell them that you feel this information is inappropriate for you to know.
3. Suggest the employee seek professional help with their problems.  This is where an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is very helpful.  Most programs are designed to work with employees on resolving a host of problems, such as substance abuse, financial problems, and marital problems.
4. If an EAP is not available, provide resources through the community or through your health care provider.  There are many organizations, profit and non-profit, that are available to employees.
5. Discuss the performance or behavior problem with the employee, handling it as you would any other disciplinary action.  Start with a verbal discussion, explaining the expectations of performance and then advising the employee, with examples, of their failure to comply with these expectations.  This conversation should be as empathetic as possible while still addressing the need for the behavior problem to stop.
6. If the unacceptable behavior continues, step up the discipline.  Continue to allow them to talk, but put more pressure on them to make improvements in their performance.  Make sure they understand that their job may be in jeopardy if they cannot stop the behavior from disrupting the productivity of the company.
7. Do not take on employees’ problems.  Do not lend them money.  Do not find them day care.  Do not call them in the morning to make sure they wake-up.  Do provide them with resources and allow them to solve their own problem.  This is important.   But force them to solve their own problems.
8. Discourage the employee from bringing his or her problem to other employees.  If the employee’s behavior (talking about the problems to co-workers) becomes disruptive, counsel the employee.  If it continues, however, this behavior may need to be addressed as a disciplinary issue.  Again, the goal is to help the employee but to keep the problem separate from work.
9. Continue to work with the employees from both ends.  Make sure the unacceptable behavior discontinues and provide resources that will them help deal with the personal problems.

Be patient.  We all go through some tough times.  If you want a dedicated staff, you need to be dedicated to them.  Provide guidance, encouragement, and support.  This is especially true with employees who have a positive work history with your company.  Understand, however, that it is up to the employees to resolve their personal problems and if the behavior has too great a negative impact on the work place, you as a manager must take the necessary action.

By:  Toni Talbot, SPHR and Andie Creamer, CHRS

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